Blushing furiously

By Oxadrenals. June 11th, 2010

As I was saying: These “hangers-on” are a real problem. (Interesting fact: Kate intuited their existence all on her own. And about my very own Bounty Hunter. Need to meditate on that.)

So, we Hafeems are often reluctant to prove that we are Hafeems. And we’re very reluctant  to meet anyone in person. Which is why I was very glad Flyss chose this option and not the other. (You’re all gentlefolk, right, and won’t go back on an agreement?) If she’d decided to see me, I would have had to get someone I trust a lot more than the guy you call the Bounty Hunter to blindfold her, switch cars eighteen times, etc., and bring her to me in the pitch dark, where I would talk like Marlon Brando in the The Godfather. (I’m not kidding. We do that sort of thing. A lot.)

But, to get back to proving things. There may be an item. It would be buried where an old farmhouse was bombed flat at the First Battle of the Marne. So far as I know, it’s never been excavated. It would be wrapped in foil. It would have been a special device for preventing a horde of certain tiny, tiny things from meeting up with a single comparatively gigantic tiny thing. It was blue. And it was composed of an extract of Hevea brasiliensis. I will say no more. I’m already blushing furiously.

Even with someone as prowetic as me, such prowesses couldn’t begin before, say 10. And that would give me a birth date of 1904. Which would make me rather decrepit. And that I’m not. I can out-hike any three of you.

But that’s not proof at all, is it? Next you’ll be asking to see me in person to show that I’m not 106. Besides, I could have met a World War I vet who told me that story. Instructive? Wasn’t that mind exercise gift enough?

But you’re implacable, I know. So here’s what I’ll do. (Continued in next post)

6 Comments

  1. c says:

    Are you Saint Germaine?

  2. Curious says:

    How would seeing you in person prove that you’re not 106? You don’t age like the rest of us, right?

  3. oxadrenals says:

    If I ever had a saint’s license, it got revoked long ago.

  4. oxadrenals says:

    “How would seeing you in person prove that you’re not 106? You don’t age like the rest of us, ”

    I _so_ don’t look 106. Not old and wise one bit. Just youthful and sort of dimwitted.

    But on reread of your question I see that I misunderstood what you were asking. Yes, you’re right, seeing me doesn’t prove I’m not 106. But the issue at hand is proving that I’m not an ordinary mortal. The silly people on this website don’t believe me, quite.

  5. c says:

    oxadrenals

    you have guts to come out to say you’re not ordinary. I admire your courage but you must understand the skepticism surrounding mortal folks here and the list of questions that will come along with it. Be prepared!

  6. me says:

    The only thing that comes to my mind is that this item was a condom.

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